3/2/2018- "Before we started foster care we worried about them. We worried how our decision to open our home to children in need would affect them. We worried that our call stole their choice in the matter. Would it hurt them? Would it change them? We wondered if opening their world to such brokenness would wipe away their innocence... Before we started I knew this world, I knew how dirty and messy, how drawn out and full of unanswerable questions it is. I knew the court very well and the laws and saw first hand repeatedly how broken our system is. I knew how fighting back tears in the courtroom felt, a mixture of anger and sadness when bio parents decided not to fight for their children. I also knew how fighting back tears in the courtroom, full of sadness and understanding, felt when a parent was fighting for their babies... could we protect our girls from ALL of that? No. As hard as we try we can't hide all the yuck, some of it, sure... never all of it.
It does hurt them. Their hearts ache for what breaks our Father's heart. They long for restoration for these kids, knowing they can't provide it. They love HARD instantly and they grieve after every child leaves because it is a loss to them. An invisible loss of a sibling that no one acknowledges. A pain that they, yes, even at 11, 10 and 9 despise and crave all at the same time.
It has changed the girls. It has brought needs right into their world that they are able to meet. It has matured them and teaches them lessons everyday that we could never teach. What better way to live out the gospel then as a family, everyday in the trenches, in our home.
So is it worth it? I think this picture speaks louder than any words I can write or any story I could tell. They know the cost is high. They know the journey has no clear answers. They are all in. Which is a pretty cool thing to have a front row seat for if you ask me. (1 year ago today... I will undoubtedly share this every year!) #becomingfosters #worthit